Monday, July 18, 2011

Sage Advice

“Never pass up a chance to take a leak.”

Actually, it wasn’t anonymous who coined that sage bit of advice. Anonymousgets credit for a lot of stuff he didn’t come up with himself, the thievingGreek pirate. Anyone who knows me will recognize that wise counsel as somethingthat I often attribute to my grandfather. My grandfather didn’t come up with iteither. I just attributed it to him so as to give the words a bit more weight.I was the one who came up with what could possibly be the best advice you’reever going to get in this life.

Boys have decidedly greater options when you are talking about good publicbathrooms. We have a different definition of “good” than that of most women. Wealso have a much different definition of “public” which at times means justthat, public, as in “exposed to general view” as opposed to “accessible to orshared by all members of the community.” I’m not an animal; I don’t pee inpublic in the city, but let’s just say that when I am out in the country,finding a bathroom never seems to be a problem. The countryside: The world’sbiggest toilet. It’s not a slogan that you are likely to read in one of thosestuffy travel magazines, but it is thetruth. When I'm out bike riding I am forced to ignore my own advice of neverpassing up a chance to take a leak. If I didn’t, I'd never get anywhere.

Locating a good public bathroom, downtown Valencia provides a bigger challengethan the great outdoors. Of course, every bar and café has a restroom, but theyexpect them to be used only by paying customers. Buying a coffee or beer justto use the restroom seems like bailing out your boat instead of fixing theleak, if you will pardon the pun. When I speak about public restrooms, I meanthose where you can just walk in without being expected to buy anything or in aplace that is big enough that no one will notice that you are not an actualcustomer.

So my advice to you is to never pass up a chance to take a leak. It could be along time before you have another opportunity.

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